Well. I've officially lost my damn mind
If you would've told my ten year old self that one day I'd enjoy running, she wouldn't have EVER believed you. Five years ago, I wouldn't envision signing up for a 5k. I never wanted to run a half marathon that took up more than 2 hours of my life hitting the pavement. And... Normally, I'd have laughed in your face if you asked me if I'd like to run TWENTY-SIX miles in a row, but this one felt like it was MADE for me, and why would I travel over 2,000 miles just to complete a half marathon I know I could do here in California? It didn't seem worthwhile to just stay with what felt safe.
That's a theme with my life lately... Safety. Since things fell apart, I'd been trying to find any sort of control or balance in my life; trying to stay within a comfort zone after so much trauma and upset. Life keeps pulling me away from stasis, and I just want to have a little normal in my routine. Instead of embracing this wall of change, I'm usually fighting it at every curve and making my life harder than it needs to be. As if it's screaming "Do you want to make progress? Then do something DIFFERENT than you've been doing, and you'll get results!" but I keep needing to re-learn the same lesson over and over. So, let's do ALL the things different then (clearly with the red hair)!
Like you've read in the last couple weeks, I've been trying new things and "getting my heal on", so to speak, but if there's anything I want more in my life right now it's security. The last two years have been nothing but walking around on eggshells to please others, and I need to have the reigns in my own grasp finally, rather than in anyone else's... again - that was my own doing by allowing it and not reassessing proper boundaries.
The point? I want safety and security, but I also want to push myself and get better than what I used to be... What better way to do that then to do something I've always done, but just do it for longer?? I've run ten 5k's, one 10k, four Half Marathons, done one Pixie Dust Challenge (10k on Saturday, Half on Sunday = 19.3 miles) & finished the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (39.3 miles in two days). So...
my half-crazy Soaring behind signed up for the flying pig marathon.The FULL one. In Ohio.
WHAT. DID. I. GET. MYSELF. INTO?
I may have bitten off more than I can chew, to be honest. However, I'm willing to put in the work for over a year to just be able to say I finished it. I'm definitely going into it with zero expectations of making any specific time or whatnot - the whole thing will be an automatic personal record. I've walked this distance before, back when I did the 2014 Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, but this is going to be a little different. That was walking, with the pace of two teammates, and in a very hilly Santa Barbara, California. Those teammates would also probably not speak well my attitude... quite frankly, how much of a WEENIE I was.
I complained a lot, and I'm not proud of it. Everything hurt, and I felt like I was dying. I'd only ever run ONE half marathon at that point in my journey, and I didn't realize I was developing plantar fasciitis. This marathon is going to be something else. I've run MANY distances since 2014, and am a lot lighter than I was. Not to mention, I have experience and work in an Athletics department with many people who are well-trained in recovery and sports medicine to draw knowledge from.
I was talking to my cousin about it recently, and he says that we naturally apply meaning to things that don't necessarily have to mean anything at all simply to have something to hold onto; in my case: a haircut, a festival camping trip, a flight out of state for a coincidentally named marathon. I saw his point, but why not draw meaning from things? That's the point of life, right?
To attribute, reflect and grow from experiences that may or may not end up important? I think it's important to remind yourself what you're capable of, and that pushing yourself can be invigorating - to which he agreed. I think I have enough time to truly prepare since it isn't until next May.
Now, I just have to buy all the gear to get going... UGH. Anyone want to buy me a pair of ASICS ? These were my favorite: ASICS Gel Nimbus 15, the hot pink and mint color. I think I bought four pair and they're all worn... Anyway!
If any of you have tips you'd like to share or pieces of advice upon reflection of your own running experiences, feel free to share them in the comments!